Sweetheart or Slave

Heyyy guys, it’s Shuga and you’re welcome to my channel blog.
It’s been a while. I had this amazing poem, written by an even amazing person, that I wanted to post and I’ve been delaying. And yesterday, I saw this broadcast message (otherwise known as ‘bc’) in a WhatsApp group. I skimmed through and I was riled up. Like WTBlahblah? Then, I read it and decided to get in the heads of men I hold dearly and respect to find out what they think.

This is a long post. Order of post:
1. Will post the bc.
2. Put up their opinions.
3. Put up my opinion
4. End post.

Seems easy doesn’t it? Leggo

1. The BC


She died at the age of 104, and she spent 82 years in marriage, and she said this.

“I know that young ladies will never agree with me, but whoever will implement this shall be the happiest of all and shall make a nice home; unless otherwise.”


*1.* The husband is always right.

*2.* The husband is always the master of the family even if he has no job and NO MONEY.

*3.* The wife must ask for permission from the husband before going to bed if the husband isn’t yet in bed, as well as before turning her face away from him on the bed. The husband is still the master and has full control on all the operations even in bed.

*4.* If there is a quarrel with the husband and then a visitor comes, the wife should smile as if nothing happened.

*5.* Anytime the wife thinks she is right in a matter, she should refer herself to Article # 1.

*6.* A good wife must go to bed in her nightdress with no panties or bra, (except during your monthly flow, which he must know about) to allow the husband access to her at any time he feels like (NOTE: *All women should note that this is a man’s greatest desire in marriage* – especially if he loves the woman).

*7.* A woman MUST NEVER refuse her husband’s romance except on the grounds of health and prayers. *Even in such cases she must POLITELY and LOVINGLY explain to him.*

*8.* When the husband is shouting, the wife keeps quiet and that is the time to apologize for whatever has upset him. (NOTE: *Apologizing to him after you have shouted back and insulted him DOES NOT WORK!)*

*9.* The wife should always seek the husband’s permission before making any decision except where he has previously granted you the permission on that particular issue.

*10.* A wife should always excuse the husband to the children if he comes home late.

*11.* Even on a personal matter, a wife waits for her husband with her ideas but must take those of her husband when he is back home.

*12.* The wife must never use work in the day as excuse to deny him at night. Let him be the one to say, “Oh, you must be tired after all the stress of the day!” It is best that way.

*13.* The wife never goes to sit down in her husband’s office unless in an urgent case or an emergency. A good husband too will not come and sit in your office.

*14.* A good wife does not embark on any kind of expenses without consulting the husband *even if it is your own money.* A good husband too will not control your money.

*15.* The best way to settle misunderstandings is in the bedroom. If a misunderstanding lingers and he does not make a move in bed, *a good wife should make the move.*

*16.* The wife never refuses to prepare his meals, even if he is refusing to eat due to annoyance. *When he has refused 2 meals, prepare his favorite, with tempting treats.*

*17.* The wife has no orders to give to her husband, but she receives orders from him.

*18.* *The wife must always respect the husband.* Next to freedom of access to his wife’s body, this is a man’s most important concern.

*19.* The wife has to control her jealousy and never show it in public.

*20.* The good wife pays visits to her parents as well as to her in-laws *only* with the permission of the husband. And under normal circumstances, accompanied by the husband.

*21.* A good wife never entertains guests in her home without the husband’s knowledge and consent. *Not even your own relations*.

*22.* NEVER ENTERTAIN *ANY MALE GUEST* WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE. *Not even his own blood brother* He may not talk or complain about some, but be sure he has counted it against you.

*23.* The wife *never* goes out anywhere without permission from her husband.

*NB:* My dear fellow woman, I want you to know that *THE POWER OF A GOOD WIFE IS IN HER WEAKNESS*. Please, as stupid as this may sound to you, use it and watch your husband become your lover once again. This is my secret recipe for a happy marriage and full control of my home. *I did all the above and I was the one running the home; NOT MY HUSBAND!* His love and respect for me was second to none. And I know that’s why God has also granted us long life to enjoy each other the more.

Note : this rule have healed over 5 million plus marriages and restored over 10 million marriages that were heading for divorce.

Also forward this to your female friends, *especially the married ones*, this will help them very much.

2. Their opinions

“Really, I’d say it largely reeks of some Dominant vs Submissive relationship with its root from African philosophy of marriage with brazen display of patriarchy. While it isn’t totally bad a piece, really, it isn’t sacrosanct either. For example, not entertaining (male) guests without his consent holds for me but how do you explain she turning her face from the husband on bed only by his permission? That’s crazy! So, as with several other ‘relationship recipes,’ one would only sift the information and pick what holds true or practicable. That’s all. My opinion.” – OO

” 1) it’s a lot to do (for a woman in this modern day)
Lots of things have changed society doesn’t function like that anymore
2) It can( or should I say used to) work.
An example is my Very own mother, she’s very submissive to my dad (well not as excessive as the 104 year old woman )
I don’t know if the age difference is a factor sha
But then I see the love and respect popsie has for her.
She basically has her way around lol……………. On a personal level. I’d like to be with someone who understands the concept of freewill. I’d like someone who’s able to think on her own abeg lol. It’s marriage not slavery 😂😂” – CN

” Ridiculous Stuff.
In Ephesians 5, Paul kept comparing that relationship to the one that exists between Christ and the church. Submission from the wife, not out of compulsion, just the way we have willingly submitted ourselves to Christ..
And he tells the husbands “love your wives, *even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it*
Christ’s love is unselfish and not self-centered.
It’s patient, kind, it suffers long…etc
That article portrays slavery abeg” – EA

You might have to scroll up to fully understand this one.

” Wth is Mrs Martha Purenez??
1. The husband is NOT always right.
2. The husband is the head of the family….he shouldn’t lord it over his wife…plus a good husband should have a source of livelihood
3. Sounds archaic tbh
4. Makes sense.
5. Refer to response 1 above.
6. She can go to bed in whatever she likes…I really do not care.
7. If she’s not in the mood she’s not in the mood…forcing it will be rape abeg…
8. A good husband shouldn’t shout at his wife.
9. I agree.
10. It’s really up to her…no pressure.
11. Makes sense.
12. Every couple should figure this out for themselves.
13 & 14. I agree.
15. Not always.
16. Lmao…no wasting of food in my house.
17. No order giving in my house too. We’re partners after all 🤷🏽‍♂
18. 💯💯💯
19. A good husband won’t make his wife jealous. In private or public 😌
20. She can them whenever she wants tbh
21. Her relatives can visit her freely mbok…the husband has to be aware of any other visitors
22. Well…some wisdom there
23. Part of giving her husband respect…” – OA

” Some are valid but others are extreme. And cannot be done or people won’t do it… Plus temperament should also be considered….
This does feel like Love….
The Wife isn’t being expressive at all ” – AA

3. My opinion

Thank you to the beautiful people that gave me their honest opinions. This BC comes down to submission and the place of women in a marriage. It is dripping with a lot of pressure placed on the woman to be submissive.
You see, a lot of what was written will not hold in a normal godly marriage. Why.?
To borrow words from Paul…
Husbands, love your wife *even* as Christ loved the church. ( for goodness sake, Christ died for us #justsaying)
Wives submit to your husband.
I’ll have no trouble submitting to a husband that loves me as Christ loves the church. 😉
I am no longer afraid of the word ‘submission’.
You see, submitting to a man that loves me even as Christ loved the church won’t be hard at all.
Because, I’ll be given my space to grow, live and fly.
I’ll have a choice!
That man will be the head of our home because he has a Head he looks up to.
Yes, he’ll know I’m his equal partner in this union.
We’ll both bring a 100% of ourselves to the table, no halves.
We won’t come together to complete ourselves because we are already complete in Him.
We’ll compliment ourselves.
Know thyselves before you get hooked. Be friends, don’t go in and find out you married a monster. A woman can be a monster too.

On a final note, the pressure of holding up a marriage shouldn’t be placed solely on the woman. Y’all are in it both for the long haul.

What do you think? Drop your comments below. I would really love to hear from you!

4. End of post.
We did it! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

P. S : In the BC where you see an asterisk (*) enclosed in a word or number, it is to make it bold when it appears on WhatsApp interface. E. G *drop a comment* = drop a comment on WhatsApp interface.


3 thoughts on “Sweetheart or Slave

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